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Xavier Gens, Hitman

by Kathryn Durfee
11/23/2007

Call me a skeptic, but I do raise my eyebrows when I see previews for movies based on video games. But hell, Pirates of the Caribbean was the spawn of a ride at Disney World, and it was and still is hugely entertaining. If only I could say the same for Hitman.

Based on the video game by the same name, Hitman stars Timothy Olyphant as a gun-for-hire known only as Agent 47. Raised and trained by a group called "The Organization," Agent 47 is given an assignment to kill the newly-elected Russian president. When the man he most definitely shot and killed reappears in front of the camera, 47 realizes that he's been set up by the very Organization that sent him on the mission. This political conspiracy finds him pursued by Interpol (led by Dougray Scott), the Russian military, and his fellow assassins as he races through Eastern Europe. Along the way, he picks up Niki (Olga Kurylenko), the President's slave-girl that 47 believes is in on the plot.

So where do I start? Clearly I have not and do not have any interest in playing the game. I'm sure some of my readers just gave up here. Oh, well. But I have some problems with the premise: so we're supposed to believe that a bunch of bald white guys with barcodes tattooed on the back of their necks can roam around essentially unnoticed?

Yes, they're quick and stealthy, I understand, ut there were many scenes in which 47 and his cueballed cronies were able to walk through crowds without people turning and staring. I guess I just didn't suspend my disbelief far enough. In addition, there's no way, unless you're wearing a tank, that you can be shot at that many times and come out without a scratch. Why is it that the attackers always run out of bullets way before our hero does?

Hitman does take advantage of the video-game adaptation genre (how sad that this is actually a genre) by having a little fun. When 47 swings from his balcony into a hotel room on a lower floor, he bursts in on two teenagers playing the video game. In addition, most of the film is shot from behind 47, so that we see the back of his tattooed head just as players of the game see him.

I will admit, the stunts are pretty well put-together. There are gun fights, there are fist fights, and even sword fights. Blood flies everywhere. Bodies pile up. There are jump cuts and rapidly-moving cameras for action scenes -- I had a hard time figuring out which end was up in some scenes. And of course there are a few of those slow-motion shots to show the audience how cool 47 looks in that long black coat or how sad Niki is when he leaves her on the train. Clichéd use of framing and editing aside, the action made me want to like the movie. However, every time I found myself thinking "Ok, this isn't that bad," a cheesy line was thrown into the already-sparse dialogue, tipping the scales towards "sucky."

The sad thing is that Hitman could actually have been decent. The film could have taken a million different directions. For instance, on the Yahoo! Movies page for the movie, the short plot outline reads:

The "Hitman" is a genetically-engineered, elite assassin known only as Agent 47. His hallmarks are lethal grace, unwavering precision, and resolute pride in his work. But even 47 couldn't anticipate a "random equation" in his life exactitude: the unexpected stirrings of his conscience and the unfamiliar emotions aroused in him by a mysterious Russian woman.

Now that sounds like an interesting movie! Too bad it's not the one that was made. Instead, Hitman seems to have gotten stuck in the desolate land of bad genre films, such as War and Shoot 'Em Up. If these are our best attempts at the Hong Kong style of cinema, perhaps we should leave it to the Chinese.

The showing of Hitman I attended was packed. When exiting the auditorium, I found myself in a sea of people awaiting the next showing. My first thought was "Man, there are going to be a lot of disappointed people in about an hour and a half."