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Philip Atwell's War

by Kathryn Durfee
08/27/2007

War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. This bloated entry into the kung-fu genre fails to impress. I'm not a kung-fu fan by any means, but I dragged my boyfriend to Ratatouille, so I figured I'd accompany him to a movie of his choosing. Plus, I'm always willing to give movies a shot; I mean, who knows, it could be good. Alas, I think I'll stick with the rats.

Jason Statham plays Jack Crawford, an FBI agent who devotes his life to hunting down Rogue (Jet Li), the elusive assassin responsible for the murder of his partner. Rogue reappears three years later when he sparks a war between Chinese mob leader Chang and Japanese Yakuza boss Shiro. I'll admit that I wasn't quite giving this movie my undivided attention, but from what I gathered, this strife had to do with some very old and tacky golden horse figurines. With Rogue's resurfacing, Crawford leads his team of criminal investigators into the malay, hoping to eventually reach Rogue. His judgement clouded by vengeance, Crawford in the end comes face to face with this killer and learns that nothing is as it seems.

This isn't the first time Jet Li and Jason Statham have been pitted against one another. In 2001, they appeared in James Wong's The One. I haven't seen it, and I'll probably keep it that way. Statham, who has in the past played far more memorable characters such as Handsome Rob (The Italian Job), Turkish (Snatch), and Bacon (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) is here dealt an unfortunate role. He's had to look tough holding a gun before, but at least these other films gave him some good dialogue. He also does a half-assed job of covering his accent. Jet Li, who of course has been in countless movies of the genre, does here what he does best. I haven't seen many of his earlier movies, but I did find myself wondering, does he always look so disinterested? For most of the movie, he looks as though he's thinking more about what he wants for lunch rather than being the menacing cold-blooded killer that Rogue is rumored to be. He kills handfuls of people over the course of an hour and a half, but throughout, he looks like the bloodshed is just the obstacle between him and a good sandwich.

Now, I knew full well going into this "film" that it wasn't going to be anything groundbreaking. That disclaimer being stated, this movie was still a huge disappointment. For a kung-fu movie, there was a minimal amount of martial arts - it was more of a shoot 'em up type of deal. The dialogue was painfully cheesy, and the emotional connections to the characters felt forced. War is also full of completely pointless shots of naked women, clearly trying to appeal to a certain audience, or shamelessly attempting to detract attention from glaring plot holes and an overall suckiness.

I won't give away the twist ending because, well, it's dumb. Basically, if you're a kung-fu or Jet Li fan, your time and money are better spent renting one of his older and better movies. I hear Unleashed was pretty good, so I, fingers crossed, have added it to my Netflix queue. In the meantime, I'm putting in an appeal to get my Saturday night back.

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