British Teenager Responsible For 40% Increase in Town's Crime
by Len Neighbors
07/10/2007
This remarkable hooligan has managed a statistically significant crime wave in Clitheroe, Lancashire (Google Map). Clitheroe is apparently the sort of town that proves an island as small as England can have a middle of nowhere.
Kyle Ivison, purveyor of doom, has been apprehended and appropriately sentenced for his transgressions. Locals were delighted by the unexpected turn of events:
One local shopkeeper added: "He's scum and I'm delighted the courts have treated him with a firm hand. God knows, I'd like to."
Oh, we bet you would, you dirty shopkeeper, you.
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Asbo, England, Crime, Lancashire, Clitheroe, Firm Hand