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Georgia Bulldogs Football Is Back: The Ritual Of College Football Recalls The Faithful

by Christopher McIntosh
09/01/2006

Our Georgia Bulldogs start the season this weekend ranked number 14 in the country.

Our opponent? Western Kentucky.

I guess Kent State was busy this year.

Did anyone even know that Western Kentucky had a football team?

Here's what I've learned about Western Kentucky through my "research," which consisted of approximately six minutes on the internet (I never claimed to be a reporter).

They are in the Gateway League. I'm an educated man and know a fair amount about college football.

I had never even heard of this conference until approximately eight minutes ago.

Their mascot is the "Hilltoppers," which I knew from their decision to flame out in the NCAA basketball tournament despite my using them as a sleeper pick in my pool. They wrecked one of my brackets awhile back when they had some big stud that they supposedly were going to ride deep into the tournament.

Yes, I realize that sentence was suggestive. Stop laughing, Beavis.

One of the other reasons I may not have heard of them is that while I know something about major college football I know nothing about 1-AA football other than the inexplicable dominance of the Blue Hens of Delaware.

The Hilltoppers get the pleasure of meeting the 14th ranked team in the country, despite the fact that they are not even in the same league as the Bulldogs.

Literally.

Their next game, appropriately enough, is against Eastern Kentucky, of which the only thing I know about them is... ummm... their campus is East of their opponents?

Of course, it might not be the case. After all, it is Kentucky.

This is the part where I would laugh at the astronomical line between the two teams - say UGA was favored by 41.5 and make some catty comment about how that seems too high considering the second, third and fourth stringers are going to play the final three quarters.

But I can't find it. Thought it was because my research skills were diminishing.

They're not. There is no line.

This game is so lopsided that it appears no casino will even take a bet on it. I suppose they could be in actual Vegas sportsbooks, but they'll bet on anything there (I've got $200 on Kayne to be kicked off Project Runway next - the odds are poor, but I think it's a metaphysical certitude).

Even Tradesports won't touch it.

Not going to do much for our strength of schedule, but to those people who think that matters, they are, to put it mildly, stupid.

The SEC is the toughest conference in the country and given some of the non-conference games teams pla - —FSU, Miami, Cal, and West Virginia (I get the willies just mentioning that team), those people need to shut the [edited] up.

Of course, we start the season with Joe Tereshinski the third at QB - a guy we only referred to last year as a "legacy admission" given that his dad also played the QB for UGA back in the day, and having a guy who sounds like he should be inheriting a shipping empire is not a good sign for your team. But we, along with four other teams in the conference, are ranked in the top fifteen and have five in the top 25 (so far), so the mere fact that Richt has faith in him (and is a well respected judge of QB talent) is comforting.

As a POW kept behind enemy (Yankee) lines, college football has taken on a whole new relevance. Not everyone is lucky enough to live in an area close enough to actually make it to games, have games televised or even have a majority of persons who are aware of your team or sometimes, even the sport itself. "Wait, you mean there's football on a day other than Sunday. Really?"

Those people scare me.

Count your blessings.

For us exiles, the football season is a time for mobilization. A lightning rod for unification. People I know who never really seemed to care about football while they were in school all of a sudden are scheduling their lives around the games, Tivo-ing everything they can get their hands on, and generally acting crazy. Half the time I expect to see thirty year old men in face paint.

And their girlfriends.

It gets so bad, that I walked past a guy wearing a Florida shirt and for the briefest of moments, my first thought was to sucker punch him in the mouth.

It's Pavlovian. It's tribal. It's something virtually every person who went to a school that had an even half decent football team can relate to.

College football is back. Bars and restaurants with a TV are going to turn into battlegrounds for the coming months.

Be prepared.

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