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This Weekend in NCAA College Football: Here Comes The Boom

by Christopher McIntosh
09/15/2006

It takes a lot for me to do this, but there are some moments when a man has to hitch up his jeans, and say what he believes. So I'm going to go ahead and do it. I'm playin' the patriotism card.

Because if you do not spend Saturday in front of a TV watching football, you're just not American. And the terrorists might win.

Also, if you have been thinking about investing in TiVo or a DVR, but have been saving instead so that you can either reconvert the engine of your car into one that runs, or buy food at the end of the month... break the little piggy and head to Best Buy. Walking is good for you, and ramen noodles cost 25 cents a pop. Cheaper if you buy them in bulk. And this weekend will be completely worth it.

At 3:30 EST this Saturday, 8 of the nation's top twenty-five teams will face off against each other, and that's not even counting the earlier and later contests. It's going to be a feast of the best heavy-hitting, high-flying, scream-yourself-hoarse Division I goodness the country may have to offer this year. KFC's profit margin is going to triple. Here is how I suggest you breakdown this weekend, and how I suspect the games will break down:

If you started your weekend off last night with a twelve-pack and West Virginia, I’m sorry... as predicted, the Mountaineers spanked the Terrapins like bad, bad little monkeys. You should have thought to yourself, "Hmmm... two (alleged) Heisman candidates at WVU, meet Maryland. Maryland, meet the new pain," saved your strength and invested your time in your significant other, since you will need sufficient capital stored up to politely inform them tonight that they will not be seeing you again until Sunday.

Start your warm-up at noon with Iowa v. Iowa State, an old rivalry game that not many outside of the Midwest pay attention to. It's a more interesting match-up than you might think, in spite of Iowa's historical dominance of the state's share of the national sporting spotlight. Dan McCarney's Cyclones are perennial underdogs, but have won six of the last eight anyway, generating some serious resentment in Hawkeye-town. It should be some good entertainment until the main event starts.

At 1:00, Georgia fires up against UAB. The interesting part of this game is not the matchup, but the Dawg's cast; specifically, how new stud quarterback Stafford will perform and whether he can start pushing Georgia's offensive numbers into the yardage levels where they belong. The Bulldogs' performance against the Blazers could provide a little glimpse into the road ahead through a seriously (if not abnormally) difficult schedule.

At 3:30 is the main event. You have two choices: get your channel surfing fingers nimble and pray to the gods of commercial break timing, or settle in and watch the Auburn-LSU game content in your knowledge that you and your friends are also recording at least two, maybe three more games.

Auburn-LSU is undeniably the marquee matchup. I like Auburn's chances, but the game should be so incredibly tight that if you're not personally invested in the outcome you might as well play eenie-meenie-minie-mo. Auburn's offense is stunning, but LSU may have the stingiest defense in the country (they've allowed no touchdowns and only 6 total points in their opening two games) and is hardly lacking offensive weapons. It's going to be a beautiful brawl. It could also be the game when Kenny Irons stakes a serious claim to the Heisman; if he can light up the brutal Tigers' D, he'll turn some eyes away from Brady Quinn, and he has the tools to keep them fixed.

I suspect Notre Dame v. Michigan is going to be interesting only insofar as it may be the last decent shot the Big 10 (where many of the independent Notre Dame's games are played) has at keeping the Fighting Irish from being anointed into the national title game. USC could stop Notre Dame at the end of the season, but unless there are two undefeateds, the Irish could end up with a title shot anyway, given the epidemic of Quinnmania that the CDC has failed to control.

I just don't think Michigan has the tools to get the job done, though. They look fine so far this year, and are undoubtedly still smarting from the loss to Nebraska in last year's bowl clash, but unless their equally or slightly-less talented defense can put up a better display than Penn State's did last weekend, I don't think Wolverines' stars Henne and Hart can keep up with the Quinn-Walker-[insert receiver's name here] Machine. It should be a high scoring game, though, and if Notre Dame starts out sluggish like they did against Georgia Tech, Michigan is definitely equipped to capitalize. If.

Miami-Louisville is worth watching to experiment with the "Miami is weak this year" theory. I'm not sold that it's true, but Louisville will provide a true test. The Cardinals have averaged an incomprehensible 655 yards per game in their first two contests, which is only just shy of triple Miami's average yardage allowed. QB Brian Brohm is just that good. The defense is going to have to do much of the heavy lifting, too, unless the Hurricanes offense can come together in a more coherent fashion than they did against Florida State. My guess is that the game stays close to the half, and then Louisville blows it open at the start of the third quarter and goes on a race to the finish.

I actually think Oregon might upset Oklahoma, although it won't be a huge upset if they do. The Ducks may not be flashy on the offense, but they are steady producers and the Sooner defense has looked thoroughly befuddled the last few weekends. After a tough contest with Fresno State, the Ducks' D should be ready to at least play a good rearguard action against the Adrian Peterson Show. There's no doubt, though, that Oklahoma is hungry after two weeks of speculation that they might be facing another year of underperformance, and the defense will be keyed up after being basted by everyone and their mothers in the press. Two teams with something to prove, but who may or may not have the weapons to do it.

Whenever you get to it, watch some of the TCU-Texas Tech game, for pure entertainment value; it should be a high-flying affair with huge scores and big plays. To sweeten the pot, there are the makings of a potentially interesting challenge to the BCS system if the Horned Frogs win. Texas Tech is the toughest challenge on the TCU schedule, and if TCU makes it through they have a strong shot at an undefeated season. If the major conferences don't produce two undefeateds, that will cause about ten minutes of soul searching amongst the voters... before they pick a team from the majors anyway.

The last game of the night that I'm going to be glued to, even if no one else east of the Mississippi will be, is the Nebraska-USC game. As I said earlier in the week, this game has potentially huge implications not only for the Huskers' drive to reclaim their national status, but for the national balance of the conferences. And what's more, I think the boys from UNL might just make a game of it; they're certainly going to be wanting badly to pull off the upset of the year, and Zac Taylor, if he's on, seems able to make steady strings of plays when the defense makes it look like nothing is possible. I don't think Nebraska will win, but I think it will be close, and I think it will be the kind of loss that actually bumps the team up in the rankings. I could be disastrously wrong, and the Trojans might just mop the floor with Nebraska, but I have high hopes for a good game.

Most of you will probably watch Florida-Tennessee, but I'm just not convinced it's going to be worth it. It's my backup plan if UNL-USC goes south, but I would put down good money that this is the game that Tennessee gets exposed for having not quite recovered from the disaster of last season. The Tennessee D will be looking to make up for a mildly embarrassing performance against Air Force, but if the Air Force could repeatedly poke holes in the Tennessee D, I think Chris Leak (read: Urban Meyer) will be able to rip through it like bad polyester. I am excited to see what happens with Florida's Percy Harvin, their freshman who is averaging 11.5 yards a rush and 18.9 yards a catch; if he starts getting more balls, he could turn into one for the ages. We'll see. But I can catch the highlights, and that will be good enough for me.

Tune in Monday for the aftermath, if I can recover from my fried cheese and chicken wing coma...

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